The Importance of Mental Health Conversations
As more reports of increasing mental health cases arise, the importance of having open communication about mental health among family members cannot be overstated. Addressing mental health issues in the family is not an easy task; however, as parents, it is advised to face it head-on if you want to build resilience and a healthy relationship with your children. In this article, we will reveal steps on how to make good plans for starting and managing difficult discussions on mental health, share details on how parents can make their home a safe environment where the children can freely express themselves, and also share resources on mental health that parents and children can use to build confidence and compassion.
Why Discussing Mental Health Matters
Mental health discussions are usually overlooked, especially between parents and children. It is crucial to have this conversation with our children because their mental health determines how they think and respond to things. Their mental health also affects their physical health (a child battling depression might refuse to eat healthily, thus leading to improper feeding issues). Having mental health discussions with our kids can help them understand feelings, build resilience, and know how to show empathy to others with mental health challenges.
Understanding Your Child’s Perspective
The brains of our kids are like devices with a lot of space to store data from different sources; however, they lack the skills to process that data. Kids can hear about mental health from friends, TV shows, and school but might not properly understand it. Learning all these can leave them with unanswered questions and misconceptions we can handle by having discussions with them. Parents need to view things from their children’s perspective to understand how they feel and help them navigate their feelings.
Tips for Starting the Conversation
Starting conversations about mental health can be one of the most difficult parts; however, it is an important step toward understanding your kids and helping them build resilience. This section covers the practical guide parents can use to kick-start these conversations while showing empathy. From creating a safe space to being open and honest, these tips will help you with the skills for engaging your children in mental health conversations the right way. Let us explore the three main steps to start conversations about mental health.
Create a Safe Space
As parents, it is ideal that your home is a safe space for your children. A safe space can also be a room where your kids can automatically feel comfortable expressing themselves. Ideally, you can find a place that is quiet, cozy, and free from distractions. If they feel tense, you can use reassuring words to calm them down. You might say something like I want you to know that this is a safe space where you can talk about how you are feeling; no matter what it is, you are free to say it here. Assurance can give them a confidence boost to start talking. Do not be too anxious to start the conversation; give them time to feel comfortable, and it will flow naturally.
Use Age-Appropriate Language
While speaking to your child, it is important to keep it simple. The more complex your words are, the harder it might be for them to understand you. This can make the entire conversation feel like going around in circles. Your language should be appropriate for your child’s age and level of understanding.
For younger kids, the use of simple metaphors and other informal words can make them understand you better. For example, instead of saying It is okay to have depressing feelings sometimes, you can say Even the brightest stars need the dark to shine or Even flowers rest beneath the snow before blooming again. You can also use punchlines and examples from their favorite TV shows.
Older kids would want to be addressed as “adults.” Try to remind them that you love them and you are ready to support their goals. Make them know that you are ready to listen to them and understand their views on different issues. They should be made to feel like they can both work as a team to handle any situation they are going through.
Be Open and Honest
The more honest you are during your discussions with your children, the more likely they are to trust you and express themselves more. Do not hesitate to share your experience appropriately, bring them up to date with the realities of life, and make them understand that it is okay to have moments of ups and downs. Your openness can make them feel like they are not alone in the struggle and encourage them to seek your help.
Active Listening Techniques
To have a meaningful and healthy conversation, active listening is important. A proper conversation is not just about speaking and listening; it takes full concentration and engagement with who is speaking to understand how they feel and the point they are trying to make. This creates a safe space where the speaker feels valued and attention is being given to them. In this section, we will talk about strategies you can use for active listening, understanding your child’s points, and responding with empathy while keeping note of the importance of mental well-being.
Encouraging Expression
When your child finally opens up about their challenges, the next step is very important to keep them talking. Don’t try to rush into recommending solutions! Encourage them to further express themselves without being judgmental.
Ask leading questions like “How did that make you feel?” “What do you think is the biggest challenge you have faced and how did it affect you?” “How do you feel when you think about this situation?” and “What’s been on your mind lately?”. These questions can lead to a whole new topic that will help you understand their situation better.
Validating Feelings
Ever been validated about your opinion or feelings? The feeling is amazing, and it boosts your confidence. The same would apply to your kids if you validated their feelings instead of dismissing them. No matter how small their challenges are, don’t dismiss them; let them know that you can relate to those challenges. Some validating phrases such as “it is normal to feel that way,” “I understand why you are upset,” and “most people would have a similar reaction to this situation” will help them feel valued.
Resources for Parents and Children
Books and Articles
You can get free access to several resources that will guide parents and kids in having impactful discussions on their mental health.
For the younger kids, books like “The Color Monster: A Pop-Up Book of Feelings” by Anna Llenas can help kids express their feelings and keep them engaged through colorful illustrations.
The older kids can check out Lisa Schab’s “The Anxiety Workbook for Teens.” It provides practical strategies they can use when trying to express themselves.
Parents can also check online for articles that discuss mental health topics in a way kids would easily understand. I will recommend this article from the National Institute of Health that highlights the mental problems in a school setting in children.
Professional Help
Professional help is also an important step if you feel the situation is beyond your depth of knowledge. It is okay to seek the assistance of trained professionals. These mental health professionals can help both parent and child with the necessary resources and support needed for their mental health. Parents can work closely with therapists who specialize in child, adolescent, and family mental health to get tips and tools needed.
Conclusion
As a parent, it is important to always have healthy conversations with your children in a safe space where they can freely express themselves. Showing compassion, actively listening to them, and using the right language is an effective way to get the best out of them. Remember, counseling your children is not professional work, so be informal with them, avoid judgment, refrain from using their challenges against them, and use every discussion as an opportunity to bond with them. Finally, do not be ashamed to seek professional help for your kids; it does not undermine your role as apparent; it will help them get the professional help they need.
